Quinn can’t do this anymore. She can’t live like this, without any contact to her mother or his mother or anyone from Lima. She knows they’re supposed to be in hiding. She knows if they’re found, she could be dragged back to live with that monster. She knows what she contemplates on doing is risky.
He’s made calls before though, right? There has to have been some way he contacted his family back in Lima without them figuring out where they were at the time. She’d get updates when they were still in Boston. What difference would being in Los Angeles make?
She plans it after Eli’s gone off to school and Puck’s left for work. It’s just a simple call, and with enough change she won’t have to make it collect. She heads out once she’s sure neither will return, taking the car into town.
It’s just a phone call, she reminds herself. Just a call to let her mother know she’s alive and they’re well. Dialing the familiar number inside of the phone booth, she takes a deep breath and wills her fingers to stop shaking.
One, two, three. One, two, three. The phone’s picked up soon enough, though the voice is silent on the other end.
“Mom?” Quinn says. “Mom, it’s me. It’s Quinn.”
Her eyes widen. She immediately shuts the phone, slipping out of the booth seconds after. This can’t be. It was just supposed to be a simple call. She was just supposed to reach her mother. So how did James, of all people, answer the phone?
“Yeah. Sure,” he nods again and holds her close. Hopefully Eli doesn’t come in tonight, since they’re not dressed. He doesn’t know why she wants to keep the light on, but he’ll do it for her. She seems so frail right now, that he just wants to protect her from everything. Even the slightest nightmare.
“I do, you know,” she says, voice soft against him. “I…love you. It’s just not as easy for me as before to function properly.” She rests her hand on his side, fingers ghosting along his scar. Maybe one day she wouldn’t react this way. For now, she has him to help.
He just nods, keeping his eyes on hers. He hates how teary her eyes are, but he knows he can’t fix it. She just needs to cry every now and then. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers, reaching out to try to rub her arm again. The feeling that this is all his fault is returning again, and he hates it.
She doesn’t flinch this time. Instead, she scoots closer and tucks herself into his hold. “Could you leave the light on tonight?” she says, shutting her eyes as she tries to stop the tears from falling. “I can’t…” She shakes her head. She had to keep the nightmares at bay, especially the ones that might take the chance to return today.
“Quinn…” he pulls his hand back after she flinches. He doesn’t know what to say. They can’t go back to Lima. And it might be too risky to get their parents out here to California. “I’m sorry, babe,” he mumbles, laying back down so his head is on the pillow while he’s still laying on his side. He wants to make her happy. That’s all he’s wanted since high school.
She wipes her eyes, unaware the tears had started until she does so. “You and Eli are all I need,” she tells him. “You two are all I will need.” She turns to him, keeping the blanket wrapped closely around her. “But I miss them,” she says. “I wanted us to be a family but I didn’t want things to be so complicated.”
“Hey,” he turns onto his side and rubs her upper arm, “What are you sorry for?” He feels bad now. She just had a smile on her face and now she’s apologizing and turning away from him. “I’m proud of you, babe,” he pants lightly, still catching his breath.
She flinches at the immediate contact on her arm before relaxing. It’s just Puck. No one else but Puck. “I can’t even say it,” she whispers, shutting her eyes tightly. “It took me so long just to do this and…” She lets out a shaky breath. “I miss my mom. I miss your mom, too.”
He grunts into her neck when he feels her tightening around him, groaning out as he releases. “Baby,” he pants, lifting his head to press his forehead to hers gently as his hips slow down until coming to a stop. That was amazing. He’s been so patient with her, and the patience was totally worth it. He doesn’t even care that she doesn’t say that she loves his back at this point.
She presses her lips to his again, smile on her face. She did it. She did it and not one flash of anything bad or negative was stopping her. “I’m sorry,” she says. She slowly pushes him off of her before turning away, back facing him as she realizes that she can’t seem to say those words she knows he’s been wanting to hear for a while.
He smiles down at her and nods, going a little faster, since he’s close too. “I love you, Quinn,” he whispers for what seems like the thousandth time tonight, hoping she’ll actually say it back this time. “You know that, right?” he makes his eyes meet hers. Unfortunately, he has his doubts now and then about whether she does, just because she hasn’t said it back to him.
She nods, whispering an, “I know,” before wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Her nails dig into his shoulder as she reaches her climax. His name escapes her lips in a moan as she moves against him.
He nods again, unsure of what to say. But her encouragement to continue is exciting him so much that the adrenaline has him trembling. Not to mention, he’s also nervous that he’s hurting her or that she thinks he is. His eyes flick up to meet hers, though hers are closed. “Hey,” he whispers, still rocking his hips slowly. He runs his thumb over her cheek, under her eye to get her to open them so she can look at him.
She opens her eyes, willing herself to make eye contact with him again. “I’m fine,” she says. She’s fine because it’s him and not the monster from before. It’s him and it’ll always be him. She leans up and whispers in his ear, “I’m close.”
Nodding, he presses his forehead to hers and pulls back slowly before easing back in. He hasn’t had sex with her in months, and he can’t even believe that he’s gone so long without feeling this. Her warmth wrapped around him feels incredible.
She offers him a small smile, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. The memories of how good it feels to be this close to him are starting to return to her, overriding the fear and horrible feelings she felt before. “Don’t stop,” she whispers.
He bites the inside of his cheek as he refrains from rocking his hips any harder. His forehead is sweating already and he knows that he won’t last too long. “Babe,” he whispers in a grunt, burying his face in her neck, leaving light kisses around the skin. His hips are going so slow, but he’s finally all the way in, coming to a stand still to let her adjust, since it’s been months.
She wraps her arms around his shoulders, holding back a moan that threatened to escape her. She presses a kiss to his cheek, urging him to continue with a slight thrust of her hips. “I’m fine,” she says. She wants him to move, to keep going. This standstill will make her go crazy. “I mean it.”